Inside Westminster: Tales of Hubris and Betrayal No 14
by mrsordinary54
Summary: 'The Course of True Love' is a parody of the shenanigans of the British political 'elite'.


INSIDE WESTMINSTER: TALES OF HUBRIS AND BETRAYAL

14

THE COURSE OF TRUE LOVE

Mandy had performed feats unknown in any manual of sexploits to ensnare her man, the Adonis-like hunk Juan, but to no avail. He'd declared undying love for her and had treated her like a princess for their entire relationship but did he behave like this for all his girlfriends? That was the worrying question playing at the back of Mandy's mind.

She'd fantasised about seeing a ring glistening on her perfectly manicured hand as she performed various well-honed sex acts. Most men had melted under the deluge of her lust but Juan was different to her other encounters. True, most of her conquests had been stodgy 'meal-tickets' but she'd always managed to feign passion. No pretending was needed for Juan and she could feel herself hotting up just at the thought of him. But she was beginning to have her doubts that she would ever get him to slip a ring on her slim and bronzed finger.

'Good job I haven't dumped Potty,' she thought. 'I can always pick up with him again later.'

Such callousness had, until recent times, been equated with male behaviour but a new era had dawned for young women like Mandy and they were determined to stuff themselves with gusto at the trough of what they loosely called 'love'.

'Sod men,' Mandy thought, 'they've had it too easy for far too long, so I'm just evening out the score.'

It just goes to show how unfair life truly was when someone like Mandy Swinton-Eagle, with all her beauty, education and social advantage, can want even more out of life than convention allowed – someone else's husband.

Those were the thoughts of Sophia Mowbray-Dick, soon to be QC, as she tried to explain to her sister, Venetia, her current circumstances.

'We're not exactly loaded and he's not been paying the mortgage,' Sophia confided. 'How can I be working all hours, juggling children, home and everything and all that rotter does is betray me with that tart?'

Venetia listened and tried to stay calm. She was as incensed as her sister but had known from the beginning of Potty's relationship with her family that one day the artifice of her sister's marriage would all come crashing down. In truth she had been surprised that it had lasted so long.

'Try not to worry,' Venetia had cajoled, 'Kaspar and I'll help out. His Pa's arranging for us to take over Quorn Castle, so you and the kids can always stay with us.'

'I know,' replied Sophia, 'you're an absolute brick and I know you'll help. But my life's in London and Quorn is so far away.'

'Whatever helps Soph. I know it's been tough but Kaspar and me, well, we'll move heaven and earth to see you don't suffer.'

Sophia smiled at her sister and thanked the Lord for this one crumb of comfort.

Meanwhile Ptolomy Trudge-Jones was visibly a sleeker individual; still rotund but more coiffed and hadn't he had his eyebrows tidied and…dyed. Better for the telephotos, he'd been advised.

Potty had several ardent and influential supporters on his side: Sedgewick Savage-FitzBoodle with his millions and nothing to spend it on apart from indulgently being an 'influencer'; Campbell Bunns, the baby-faced loyal supporter of the late Mrs T and fierce critic of all things Remain. These men had taken Potty in hand and done the almost impossible: improved his turn-out. Potty clearly was still as shallow, two-faced and unreliable as ever but, in this age of social media, the 'look' was all important.

'Stuff content,' they'd thought, 'we'll worry about that later.'

Meanwhile Mandy had her work cut out to secure her man. Juan's flight was late that afternoon and they only had four hours left together. She'd suspected he was on the verge of something momentous, both having just enjoyed a marathon all-night session of passion. But where was the conversation going?

'My darling,' Juan started, 'you are impossibly beautiful and lovely but…'

'OMG,' Mandy quivered as she thought, 'he can't already be taken by someone else?'

She'd had more than enough experience in life and love to have developed an antenna for the 'let down'.

'I'm besotted and bewitched by you, my love. But I am promised to another. My parents have arranged for me to marry the inestimable Contessa de Castille of Seville and I simply cannot go against their wishes. Like you she is gorgeous but she has the biggest fortune in Europe to her name.'

Mandy was on the verge of hysterics but was able to take avoiding actions by deep breathing. She didn't want to give the impression that she was a blonde totty out to gnab her man.

She managed a quavering, 'So what's this all been about – I mean these past few weeks?'

'I couldn't help myself. You're simply so irresistible, like a delicious meal that I wanted to gorge myself on.'

Mandy realised that she was at the receiving end of what she'd dished out all her life. But she'd never been called 'a delicious meal' before.

He continued, 'We're going to have an open marriage. I'm really in love with my childhood friend…Fernando.'

For the first time in her life, Mandy was truly gobsmacked.

'Fernanado!' she shrieked. 'Isn't that a man?'

'Yes my dearest. I like to be adventurous in life and he is incomparably sexy and fulfils my wildest fantasies in a way that you females just don't understand.'

Mandy's head was about to explode. Her mind was swimming with turbulent thoughts: she felt lost, duped, sick all at the same time. What was to be done?

A visit to the clinic would have to be top of her list.

And with that, her relationship with her incredible and heartfelt love died.

And Mandy felt truly bereft, as though she was floating above watching her whole world shatter in slow motion. And she cried and howled. Like an unleashed demon she lashed out, ripping shreds of skin from Juan's face.

'No one treats me like this, you *****.'

Unspeakable words tumbled uncontrollably out of Mandy's mouth and finally she fell to the floor in a shivering, miserable heap.

Hotel workers had rushed to the room, opening the door with their pass key, fearing they'd see a woman throttled on the bed.

But no. They saw Juan, scratch marks gouging his beautiful bronzed cheeks and Mandy, a jibbering wreck on the floor.

'So this is what true love is really like.'

Mandy remembered those words long after Juan had left her life and cried.


End file.
